What Happened to Good Old Days of Dating When Men Chased Women?Comments Off on What Happened to Good Old Days of Dating When Men Chased Women? 495
By: Chantal D.
I am what most people consider an ‘old soul’. I love black and white pictures, old Hollywood stars, and I have a special place in my heart for fun facts that only I think are fun about the early twentieth-century history. I could sit and read for hours about the “good old days”. My favorite stories, hands down, are the ones that tell about the romance and charm that characterize the story with magic, the butterflies in the stomach and the chills run down the spine and honestly how I’d dream of all love stories to happen.
From a very young age my mother taught me not to chase boys. “They will come to you if they like you my dear girl”, she said. “And don’t ever call them first.” But as I got older, I learned that this is not the case anymore.
Romance is no longer characterized by asking a girl out on a date, pulling out all the stops to really impress someone, the feeling of butterflies, or just plain chivalry and respect.
Nowadays, romance is considered sliding into someone’s DMs, maintaining a snap streak, or the infamous ‘Netflix and chill’.
Courtship has taken quite a turn. Gender roles are reversing, causing confusion with the process we were once accustomed to, and technology is taking over basic human interaction, creating a completely different social dynamic.
So what happened to the good old days of dating when men chased women?
Let’s look back to how it all went down in the good old days. A man would approach a woman, ask her for her contact number, and then he would make a call and ask her out on a proper date.
No phone calls are nearly obsolete, plans are being made loosely and the art of courtship and romance has become a nostalgic memory. It used to be a seamless, uncomplicated process, with minimal thought behind it. You met someone you liked and you ended up with him or her.
Is it possible to meet someone within your first few tries, hit it off and end up in a relationship or married? Sure, anything can happen. But for most daters today, that kind of fate is not easily encountered.
I love it when couples are so gosh darn cute that you could vomit. Jamie and Doug (from Married at First Sight, for those of you who don’t know), Faith and Timmy, David and Victoria. What are their secrets? How is it possible they are so damn happy all the time? Unfortunately, none of their publicists got back to me. Luckily, the secrets of happy couples are very universal, and can be applied to anyone from Bangkok to Boston.
Happy harmonious relationships are not about fireworks and roses every day. After all, life isn’t an episode of The Bachelor. Relationships come with more ups and downs than a roller coaster sometimes, but if you focus on building your relationship every day, rather than just on the big occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day), you’ll have enough glue to stay together. Imagine a building made just of the main pillars with none of the filler material like concrete or walls. It would fall apart like a game of Jenga. (I’m really working on those analogies).
Even if you are in a happy relationship, it doesn’t hurt to keep use some of these tips to keep the home fires burning. After all it’s all the little things that count.
They’re Touchy-Feely I’m not talking about swapping spit or making out at a bar (I actually saw this once). Think more holding hands and sliding your arm around their waist. It’s been said that this makes couples happier.
They Put Their Phones Away I know it’s hard, but sometimes you have to stop checking your emails, Facebook and Instagram for five seconds so that you can actually connect. You know, like, with another human being and stuff. You can comment on each other’s posts at work, like everyone else.
They Say “I Love You” often than usual An “I love you” once a day keeps the divorce lawyer away. At least, that’s what I always say. It’s not enough to assume your partner knows you love them. You’ve got to say it! Affection comes in many forms, and words are one of them.
They Sleep Together No, you horn dog, I’m not talking about doing the deed (although that’s important, too). I’m talking about going to sleep together. Cuddling up next to the person you love is essential for bonding. It’s OK to stay up late some nights, but if you spend most of your evenings by the computer or the boob tube while your partner is sleeping, you’re killing your relationship softly.
They Communicate Which means no nagging, nit-picking or otherwise being a pain in the arse. Couples with harmonious relationships talk to each other when they have beef. They don’t trade barbs. If you’re upset about something, don’t keep it in. You’ll just end up blowing like a pressure cooker.
They Have Shared Interests
He may not share your love of gardening and you may not understand his obsession with Monday Night Football, but you should share common interests and activities that are fun for the both of you — and make a routine out of them. For you guys, it could be walking dogs at the animal shelter. Or trivia. Or canning tomatoes.
They Say “Thank You” It’s really the little things that make all the difference, and couples who thank each other show that they appreciate one another and value their relationship. It’s not just about being polite — saying “thank you” more can actually boost relationship happiness.
The Aluth Avurudda or the Sinhala and Tamil New Year as it is officially termed, is a traditional religio-cultural festival dating back from centuries past and held in April, the month of ‘Bak’ which word deriving from Sanskrit means ‘Bhagya’ or fortunate. Grandly celebrated throughout the country at specified auspicious times for each event, the Aluth Avurudda commence on the eve of the planetary change in the Zodiac circle with the sun moving away from Aries and entering Pisces.
The mythological concept of the Aluth Avurudda is that the Avurudu Kumaraya referred to as Indra Deva wearing a tall floral crown descends upon the earth in a silver carriage drawn by six horses. People in certain areas in the South of Sri Lanka light oil lamps to welcome the Avurudu Kumaraya and seek his blessing.
In the old world the agricultural farming society worshiped regional gods whom they believed to be in charge of the areas, during the planetary transition period of the New Year the Punya Kalaya also known as the Nonagathaya. Kalu Banda Deviyo, Minneriya Deviyo, Hurulu Deviyo, Ranwala Deviyo, Irugal Deviyo, Wanni Deviyo and Ayyanayaka Deviyo were some of the gods widely worshipped. Meanwhile, the goddess of chastity Pathini, figured among villagers in the Kalutara and Galle Districts where some rituals such as Peliyama and Ang keliya were practiced especially in her honor.
Although presently the Roman calendar is followed the world over, ancient Aryans formed the Saka Era affiliated to the Sinhala and Tamil New Year according to which we are in the Saka Era of 1941. This Saka Era depicted in almanacs was handed down to Sinhala Kings who adopted same in their official correspondence. Thalpath (ola manuscripts), thudapath, sannas and other royal documents as much as birth horoscopes carry the Saka Era.
From time immemorial up to the dawn of the new civilization, human beings had lived with nature, with chiefly those in agrarian societies of yore worshipping the Sun and other celestial elements. On the day of the New Year Hindus even today gather on the banks of the Yamuna River, and people of Benares on the banks of the Yamuna and Ganga to worship the rising Sun.
One of the captives of the English vessel which touched on the eastern coast in AD 1660 and was taken prisoner by the Kandyans Robert Knox, later wrote a celebrated book on the Kandyan Kingdom titled a ‘Historical Relation of Ceylon’ in which is mentioned that at that time, the new year was a major festival of the Sinhalese celebrated in March following the harvesting of paddy in February, six months after it was sown in September with the fall of the rains.
According to the chronicles, during the period of the Sinhala kings of the Kandyan kingdom there were four principal national festivals observed: the Avurudu Mangalya, Nuwara Perehera, Kaitiaya Mangalya – the festival of the lamps and the Aluth Sahal Mangalya – festival of the rice. These had been instituted both for religious and political objectives.
In ancient Lanka, before the approach of the New Year, the king’s physicians and astrologers were allocated specified duties. The former, to superintend preparation of a thousand pots of juices of medicinal plants at the Natha Devale in the premises of the Dalada Maligawa from whence carefully covered and sealed, they were sent to the royal palace and distributed with much ceremony to the temples where at the auspicious time the heads of the people were anointed on the ‘Thel Gana Avurudda’. The king’s head too was anointed with great solemnity. Meanwhile the duty of the astrologers was to form the Nekath Wattoruwa based on which commenced every activity: the Nonagathaya, dawn of the New Year, lighting the hearth, partaking of the first meal, ganu denu or transactions, and settling forth to work.
Sinhala kings gave royal patronage to the celebrations. During the rule of the Nayakkara Kings, festivities shifted to fall in line with the Tamil New Year, Pudu Warsham. The palace was adorned with thoranas or pandals that made a very fine show. On top of implanted poles were flags fluttering and all about hung painted cloth with images and figures of men, beasts, birds, and flowers. In addition, fruits were hung up in order and exactness. On each side of the arches stood plantain trees with bunches of plantains on them. At the appointed time of commencement of the New Year, the king sat on his throne in state surrounded by his chiefs, and the ceremony began.
The rituals of ganu-denu or transactions prevail in society but with a different from the past. In the Kandyan Kings regime the ceremonies were held as a joint ritual with all office bearers participating to prepare the royal cuisine. They were the Bathwadana Nilame, Vahala Ilangama, Muhandiram, Kuttaha Lekam, Sattambi Ralas, Madappuli Ralas, Mulutenge Mahattayas, Pihana Ralas, Mulutenge Naide. Those in attendance were Maha Aramudali Wannaku Nilame, Maha Gabada Nilame, Veebedda Rala and Undiya Rala.
It is recorded that during the ganu-denu period people brought in as taxes, money, corn, honey, cloth, alcohol, oil, wax, iron, elephant tusks and tobacco among other items. Following the ganu-denu the citizens went among their professions. The king himself as the head of the nation went to the field and turned the first sod with the royal golden plough. This was a feature of patronage of the kings and especially the anointing of the head was looked as a special interest taken to look after the health of the people. The traditional outdoor games seem to have disappeared from the villages.
‘’The lessons all the rituals impart is the togetherness, generous collective harmonious living with mutual help and service to others to co-exist’’