Cheating is a complicated business. Sometimes, the relationship is falling apart, or one person isn’t getting his needs met, but other times, it’s not always easy to get to the bottom of what makes someone cheat. And most of the time, someone who cheats is looking for an emotional connection as much as it is a physical one.
“Cheating allows someone to escape,” Joshua Klapow, PhD, clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, tells Bustle. “They can be with a person where problems and conflicts don’t exist, where they get respite, support, and validation.” And yet, affairs aren’t always that simple.
In fact, it looks like a lot of people who have cheated wish that their affairs had gone a little differently. Ashley Madison, on the extra-marital affairs website, recently shared a survey that discovered 53 percent of cheaters wished they had approached their affairs differently. Although interestingly, the survey doesn’t look at how many people (if any) wished they hadn’t had one at all.
What do cheaters wish that they had done differently?
Well, a lot of the regrets, perhaps unsurprisingly, revolved around wishing they had put a lot more thought into their infidelity before they just jumped right in. Here’s what the survey found
They Wished They Spent More Time Seeking Out The Right Affair Partner:
It’s easy to see why you’d want to make sure it was with the right person. Not just someone who’s discreet, but someone who is going to give you whatever it is that you think you’re really looking for. Many of them wish they had put some more time in at this stage.
They Wished They’d Been More Explicit And Direct About What They’re Looking For In An Affair:
I love it when couples are so gosh darn cute that you could vomit. Jamie and Doug (from Married at First Sight, for those of you who don’t know), Faith and Timmy, David and Victoria. What are their secrets? How is it possible they are so damn happy all the time? Unfortunately, none of their publicists got back to me. Luckily, the secrets of happy couples are very universal, and can be applied to anyone from Bangkok to Boston.
Happy harmonious relationships are not about fireworks and roses every day. After all, life isn’t an episode of The Bachelor. Relationships come with more ups and downs than a roller coaster sometimes, but if you focus on building your relationship every day, rather than just on the big occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day), you’ll have enough glue to stay together. Imagine a building made just of the main pillars with none of the filler material like concrete or walls. It would fall apart like a game of Jenga. (I’m really working on those analogies).
Even if you are in a happy relationship, it doesn’t hurt to keep use some of these tips to keep the home fires burning. After all it’s all the little things that count.
They’re Touchy-Feely I’m not talking about swapping spit or making out at a bar (I actually saw this once). Think more holding hands and sliding your arm around their waist. It’s been said that this makes couples happier.
They Put Their Phones Away I know it’s hard, but sometimes you have to stop checking your emails, Facebook and Instagram for five seconds so that you can actually connect. You know, like, with another human being and stuff. You can comment on each other’s posts at work, like everyone else.
They Say “I Love You” often than usual An “I love you” once a day keeps the divorce lawyer away. At least, that’s what I always say. It’s not enough to assume your partner knows you love them. You’ve got to say it! Affection comes in many forms, and words are one of them.
They Sleep Together No, you horn dog, I’m not talking about doing the deed (although that’s important, too). I’m talking about going to sleep together. Cuddling up next to the person you love is essential for bonding. It’s OK to stay up late some nights, but if you spend most of your evenings by the computer or the boob tube while your partner is sleeping, you’re killing your relationship softly.
They Communicate Which means no nagging, nit-picking or otherwise being a pain in the arse. Couples with harmonious relationships talk to each other when they have beef. They don’t trade barbs. If you’re upset about something, don’t keep it in. You’ll just end up blowing like a pressure cooker.
They Have Shared Interests
He may not share your love of gardening and you may not understand his obsession with Monday Night Football, but you should share common interests and activities that are fun for the both of you — and make a routine out of them. For you guys, it could be walking dogs at the animal shelter. Or trivia. Or canning tomatoes.
They Say “Thank You” It’s really the little things that make all the difference, and couples who thank each other show that they appreciate one another and value their relationship. It’s not just about being polite — saying “thank you” more can actually boost relationship happiness.
Each day, we put on clothes that do more than just cover up bodies. We choose clothes that represent our personalities, our moods, the times we live in, our ambitions and our desires. In the Sri Lankan history, there is one man who stand high as a pillar when it comes to fashion whose work is as controversial, and as influential as traditional art.
He became known for his glamorous styles, producing dresses using innovative materials which was quite the unthinkable at the time he stepped in to the industry 27 years ago.
Seeing his mom dressing up rather elegantly when he was quite young and following her to designers and salons has open up a whole new chapter in his life. His aunt has further influenced him when she moved in with his family where she had her own clothing business.
These experience had made him realize the power that clothing has, where he believes “clothing is a language all of its own”
Born in Sri Lanka, Michael became one of the top fashion icons in 1990’s and 2000. Coming back home after completing his higher education in the United States, he took the challenge in building a fashion empire focusing on luxury to women’s fashion. His resulting success, based on the innovation of both his designs and his business practices, made him the most successful fashion designer in the country. His designs been worn by film stars, celebrities and he became every bride to be’s dream.
Each and every garment he creates is an innovation of his own, which is a unique peace of art and each of it that leaves his studio has been done by his own hands. Most clothes are made specifically for an individual, as in the case of haute couture or bespoke tailoring and he has no replicas. Although he has a ready to wear line of clothing mostly he’s known as a couture.
Standing high as he can be in the industry and being acknowledge by the honorable President of Sri Lanka for his contribution to the industry, he is one of the most selfless people I have had the privilege to associate. He has taken more than 20 people under his wings who had absolutely no knowledge of fashion or garments, and taught them everything where he was, believe it or not a complete self-taught artist through trial and error.
A simple man, who live by his rules and a very family oriented where he put most of his time to make people who matters to him happy.
His next ready to wear collection will specifically cater to plus size women where in his eyes, each person should feel confident about their bodies and how they look. It’s an era where everyone wants to squeeze in to a size 8 but not realizing having curves makes a women look more appealing and that is the challenge he took where his next line of clothing will be dedicated for the plus size.
He has been a person who had believed in himself and the God above. Unless you plant your feet firmly on the ground you will lose your identity, thus he is one person who never forgot where he started and who had been there in his pathway lending their hand in many ways in his journey of life.
He is a “Brand” which sometimes impossible to put a price tag to his work of art.
People fall in love with his work, they fall in love with the man behind the work, because of his talent of capturing their eyes and their heart with his selfless personality. That made his clients kept on coming back to him decade after decade as he became a part of their lives that’s not replaceable.
“Miclael” has become an identity for most women as he created their personality through his creations.
A man who loves racing as a hobby, he has many different talents that’s just natural to him. Painting, music, designing furniture and building them on his own are just a few of his aptitudes.
I think creativity is inside him; never been to a fashion school, he is so strong in his thinking and seeing fashion in his own way, the brand “Michael” has no limits. “Michael” is a name known well in Asia and of course in Europe where people flying just to pick up their dress done by him.
There are many counterfeits and copies for his designs, but none is as close as the bespoke original.
A man who created a ripple throughout the industry of fashion in Sri Lanka is none other than “Michael Wijesuriya” is just “one of a kind” who’s humble enough to know he’s not better than anybody and wise enough to know that he’s different from the rest