Cheating is a complicated business. Sometimes, the relationship is falling apart, or one person isn’t getting his needs met, but other times, it’s not always easy to get to the bottom of what makes someone cheat. And most of the time, someone who cheats is looking for an emotional connection as much as it is a physical one.
“Cheating allows someone to escape,” Joshua Klapow, PhD, clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, tells Bustle. “They can be with a person where problems and conflicts don’t exist, where they get respite, support, and validation.” And yet, affairs aren’t always that simple.
In fact, it looks like a lot of people who have cheated wish that their affairs had gone a little differently. Ashley Madison, on the extra-marital affairs website, recently shared a survey that discovered 53 percent of cheaters wished they had approached their affairs differently. Although interestingly, the survey doesn’t look at how many people (if any) wished they hadn’t had one at all.
What do cheaters wish that they had done differently?
Well, a lot of the regrets, perhaps unsurprisingly, revolved around wishing they had put a lot more thought into their infidelity before they just jumped right in. Here’s what the survey found
They Wished They Spent More Time Seeking Out The Right Affair Partner:
It’s easy to see why you’d want to make sure it was with the right person. Not just someone who’s discreet, but someone who is going to give you whatever it is that you think you’re really looking for. Many of them wish they had put some more time in at this stage.
They Wished They’d Been More Explicit And Direct About What They’re Looking For In An Affair:
Bonded and an embraced journey reminiscences on how “a flavor that was buckled” in a rapport of Two Humans for a Soul affiliation. Yes, I mean Marriage. Elders define marriage as: A connection of Souls, a culture of love, an Aroma: Spice, Regret, Benefits, and Happiness (Childbirth pleasure), privacy, kindergarten joys, parenting and an un-prescribed journey in marriage livelihood.
Culturally and historically, recalling marriage during the primitive age ‘was like an ape taking an apple from the ground, and distributing the fruit to its people’ sounds interesting. Fruit offered not because of lending charity to its family, but, it was a showering love and care for its family. Yes, it was a customary practice and women were treated as (Lakshmi) – a Griha Swamini (a Lords of the House, and priority for them, was family). Primitive day’s discussions between a husband and a wife were a gesture of noble act and kindness that has affection towards each other, a person cries – and a wife/husband wipes each other’s tears with a smile.
The word called “Relationship” in primitive age was a manifestation of a dedicated long-lasting bonding. Marriage was still continuing despite; husband/wife perishes from the earth. A primitive thought of utmost importance was to offer garlands in every path of the journey and in day-to-day and minute to minute conversations.
Ever since science improved, more manners in a relationship started changing. To quote the kingdom dominated era during those days brought more extra-curricular affairs as a culture, where the husband (rather a man/woman) wanted more satisfaction to their wants rather than their needs. In Kingdom, a King arrives – his entry was garlanded with ladies dancing in an embraced process. This pro-activated custom changed the environment and slaved the thought process of human and their desire was taken to a different mode – which perhaps, made thinking changed.
Follow-up and extracting a few tips from the Kingdom era – is what in today’s world we find more cases of divorce, rather than a healthy marriage life. What is defined here today is that a healthy marriage can still take the flavours of primitive thoughts, but with more requirements (today, being Credit Cards, Branded Dresses, Money, Wealth, Properties, two children per couple. Dating apps, and approach of dressing sense, and privacy concept is eliminating a bond, and it is just a paper ritual, called Marriage. They (couples) prefer a more conscious approach and forget their childhood which was full of joy.
Vacation, the place where I feel most comfortable is a place where I am calm. A place that is peaceful in its own ways. It is the place to go to get away from all my troubles. It is the one place where I could sit forever, and never get tired of just staring into the deepest blue I have ever seen. It is the place where I can sit and think the best. A place where nothing matters but what is in that moment. The one place capable of sending my senses into an overload. The place I travelled and ended my journey at, the waves are crashing, the sun is setting, and people are laughing and embracing under the sunset.
The way the deep blue waters meet the gritty beige sand leaves me in such awe.
Beautiful scene of nature, fresh air, beautiful people and quite life – all these things comes to our mind when we think of enjoying the natural way of life in full resting from the city bustle. There is almost nothing artificial about this quite gateway. Here you can be with everything that nature can offers you…
There is something divine and mysterious about this Villa beauty, which is the satisfaction in the slower pace of days. A perfect blend of harmony with nature that makes the time stand still.
Octopus Reef Villas and Beach Cabana is designed for those who love the beach culture offer affordable luxury combining simple elegance, refined design, discreet and attentive service, in place of unique beauty and cultural interest. The perfect destination for a swim, snorkel and surf right on the beach and in the comfort of the simplicity, natural beauty and tranquility that makes the holiday gateway unique and special with the stilt fisherman in the rock pool opposite the Villa and surfers beyond with the sun setting in front of the Octopus Reef, you will amazed to watch nature unfold in front of your eyes. “The Rock” in front of the ocean opposite the Villa is famous with surfers as an International surf destination.
The water is like a soft blanket, comforting and inviting in the private rock pool right opposite the villa.
The Villa itself is built for those who prefer space, wood and colonial architecture. The rooms are large with a loft that accommodates two more beds, before it steps out into the wooden beach deck. Each room in the villa sleeps four and is ideal for families and friends to share. The wooden Cabana is only 5 meters from the beach and is built for two persons who love the natural style beach Cabana.
The best thing about the Octopus Reef is the chef Kokilan who will cook (at cost price) whatever your desire in food, including a BBQ to grill the fresh seafood caught in the vicinity consisting of calamari, fish, prawns etc. you have to order early for lagoon crabs, lobster and oysters. Breakfast is included while the chef and the kitchen is given for you free of charge, where you can buy groceries and kokilan will cook meals for you at cost price.
Experience the breathtaking scenery and life revolving around a “reef pool”, get physical with outdoor activities in the area or simply indulge in the privacy and luxury of a beach house or beach cabana.
Octopos reef, a perfect romantic getaway, to relax in the sand while soaking up the sun sipping a thambili or have the most memorable intimate moment lying down in the beach with few candles gives the light, staring in to the endless sky where starts writing yet another story of love from the depths you cast upon the beach.
One minute you are relaxing lazily on the sandy seashore reading a most invigorating book while eating the most fabulous banana fritters and ice cream done by its very own chef “kokilan”
This beautiful gateway is situated in Kabalana (2.5km past the Fortress Hotel in Koggala) adjoining the Kabalana Beach Hotel before Ahangama, Weligama and Mirissa. This gives you access to a wide range of activities nearby including swimming, snorkeling, body boarding & surfing. Kabalana Sea offers a rock pool, swimming and a safe sea where you can walk 300 meters at waist level water to catch the wave. Octopus Reef offers you free use of body boards and snorkels. The rock pool opposite the villa is a snorkeling paradise with fish and coral, ideally before 8am and in the evenings.
There are many other fun things to do around Kabalana such as visiting the ancient Kathaluwa Temple with temple art, the Great Martin Wickramasinghe Folk Art Museum in Koggla, the Virgin White Tea Estate(with guided tours) and whale watching in Mirissa.
Octopos reef, a place you can let go of yourself or the place to find yourself back!