By: Savannah Audrey
Cheating is a complicated business. Sometimes, the relationship is falling apart, or one person isn’t getting his needs met, but other times, it’s not always easy to get to the bottom of what makes someone cheat. And most of the time, someone who cheats is looking for an emotional connection as much as it is a physical one.
“Cheating allows someone to escape,” Joshua Klapow, PhD, clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, tells Bustle. “They can be with a person where problems and conflicts don’t exist, where they get respite, support, and validation.” And yet, affairs aren’t always that simple.
In fact, it looks like a lot of people who have cheated wish that their affairs had gone a little differently. Ashley Madison, on the extra-marital affairs website, recently shared a survey that discovered 53 percent of cheaters wished they had approached their affairs differently. Although interestingly, the survey doesn’t look at how many people (if any) wished they hadn’t had one at all.
What do cheaters wish that they had done differently?
Well, a lot of the regrets, perhaps unsurprisingly, revolved around wishing they had put a lot more thought into their infidelity before they just jumped right in. Here’s what the survey found
They Wished They Spent More Time Seeking Out The Right Affair Partner:
It’s easy to see why you’d want to make sure it was with the right person. Not just someone who’s discreet, but someone who is going to give you whatever it is that you think you’re really looking for. Many of them wish they had put some more time in at this stage.
They Wished They’d Been More Explicit And Direct About What They’re Looking For In An Affair: