BE BOLD; LIVE ‘YOUR’ LIFE – Let’s ask ourselves; Our awaken selves as to whose life are we living 0 1343

 


Bradley Emerson

Way back in 1981 there was this movie that I watched at the theater called the New Olympia. The name of the movie was “Whose Life Was It Anyway”, and believe me there were only about 8 people in the cinema. Actually, the movie made a loss of around US$ 5million; it was produced in 1981 at a cost of US$13 million, and it only collected US$ 8.2 million in the box office. Hence it was a massive loss. But it got me thinking. The movie was about a man who was suffering from a terminal illness and was dying. The hospital authorities kept him alive with the aid of a machine. The patient was asking the doctors to take him off the machine and let him die, but the doctors said. “No, we cannot”. So he was arguing and even went to court in the movie to get the courts to order the hospital to take him off the machine and to let him die. He was asking “whose life is it anyway”.

While in the movie the whole court proceedings got me thinking as to whose life do we really live? Whose manifest is it that we really reflect in our lives? Knowingly or unknowingly, consciously or subconsciously we find people imposing expectations on us.

There is a very interesting book written by Bronnie Ware. She authored a book named, ‘The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying’. Very interesting findings with the topmost regret of the people dying identified as saying“I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself”.I wish I had lived a life that was true to me, means they were living someone else’s manifest. When you try to live what someone else is expecting from you, you don’t bother to discover your potential and as a result, you end up living under potential and then you look back at your life and say“oh hell! What have I done with my life?”

The second one is“I wish I hadn’t worked hard”.People were saying they were putting so much into work and they did not have the time to live. Aren’t we all at what we call our ‘peak’ and guilty of this? We miss out on time with our children, watch them grow, miss out time with nature and most importantly we miss out time with ourselves.

The third regret they had was,“I wish I had the courage to express my feelings”. How many times we hold back being absolutely candid and open about expressing our feelings because we are scared it will affect relationships, we’re scared to be seen crazy, we’re scared to be ridiculed by people, so we don’t express our feelings. Isn’t it better for one to be true to him or herself than trying to please someone else?

The fourthregret being, “I wish I stayed in touch with our friends”, which we all know would result in more laughter. Think about it; really ask yourself how many minutes in a day there is (which is 24X60 minutes) and how much do you spend of that time each day to laugh! You don’t really look at life and what it does to your system when you laugh.

And the fifth regret of the dying people is,“I wish that I helped myself to be happier”. Now think about that line. We see lives of people who are rich, who are ‘well to do’, and we envy them thinking that they are happy. Some of these people, who said that I wish I was happier,were filthy rich people so it’s not wealth that makes you happy. If you go back on the entire equation of happiness, you’re asking, “What is it that I have missed out in my life? As you look back, your happiness is when you took all the chances that helped you learn what makes you happy. If you have missed out when you look back then you regret that. We look back only to find how many chances we missed out not physically but more in wisdom, more in capacity, more in humanity and more in value for life. How much of those have we missed out, we look back with regret. And how much have we achieved – here achievement is to your potential. Often achievement is looked at materialistically. As a result, live a material life and you think you have achieved everything when you have a couple of houses, fancy vehicles and traveletc.etc..But then people, who did all that,are the ones who looked back at their lives and said “I haven’t lived happily”.

So what then manifest happiness?
When you don’t live your potential, then you ought to become self-aware that you have not made use of what you could really do to humanity; that you have not made use of the opportunity to optimize your human potential; that you have not made use of every touch point to make a difference to somebody else’s life. To me that is what achievement is all about. We look back(if we bother to) and regret that “I have missed out on my learning opportunities; I have missed out on my growth opportunities; I have missed out on my achieving opportunities.”

When this happens, you live a regretful life. Because, when you look back you ask as to whose life did you live? See, most of the people who impose on you and expect you to do something, who are those have failed to achieve it. We sometimes do this to our children. We try to get them to do what we have failed to achieve. It’s unfair sometimes to impose onto our children things beyond what they want to do or beyond what they like to do and more dangerously, beyond what the child is capable of doing. I know of parents who take their children for almost every possible extra-curricular activity. When they wake up on a Saturday morning they start with swimming then ballet then music then singing then with sports. Where is that child’s childhood? Why are we programming them to do what we want instead of giving them the time to enjoy their childhood? Let’s ask ourselves -our awaken selves as to whose life are we living. Every time, (I mean you will have a number of times) people are trying to impose things on you and if you’re conscious you will capture that and then you pause, you listen and you ask what is exactly that this guy wants. More importantly you would have the audacity to say, ‘hello, this is not what I want to do’, ‘this is not what I’m made to do’. ‘This is not what I look back as an accomplishment’. ‘This is not helping my growth’.‘This is not helping me achieve my potential’. ‘This is not helping me learn’.

If we can pause and ask this, we begin to align our actions on a daily basis as to what our life is all about and what our lives can become. We always live the life as it comes but what we ought to be awakened to live the life that we can truly become because there’s so much unfound within us. So if you awaken yourself to yourself and then identify where you have lost your opportunity to learn, where you have lost your opportunity to grow, where you have lost your opportunity to achieve potential to yourself then you are living your life.

My thought for,or rather the challenge to you is to ask yourself whose life is it anyway. Remember the movie I talked about earlier. You can’t even take your own life when people say “no, it’s not your life”. Go get hold of yourself, get hold of Bronnie Ware’s book if you can. Have a look at that book which is available online and see that you don’t die with regrets because we have only one life. We need to look back with a sense of accomplishments that we lived a life true to ourselves. Hope it makes sense, hope it got you thinking, hope it’ll awaken you, and make you Bold to live YOUR life.

BY: Bradley Emerson

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Secrets to Living a Happier Life 0 1058

Akna Goonaratne University of Deikin, Melbourne
Akna Goonaratne University of Deikin, Melbourne

Our brains are focused on survival. Anything more than that, you have to work for it.

There’s an unfortunate reason why happiness is often elusive – our brains simply aren’t wired that way. Instead, our brains have evolved to survive, to protect ourselves, to keep us safe. Sure, we have moments of elation and periods of contentment and bliss. But many of us are plagued with persistent negative emotions – we are just plain stuck in the “blahs.”

How do we find more joy in our life? Like anything else, it takes practice to cultivate ongoing happiness. In a sense, we have to reset our baseline. It won’t happen overnight, but here are some things you can do every day to discover the secrets of being happier.

Focus on the positive

To find long-term happiness, you need to retrain your brain from a negative mindset to a positive mindset. Try these things: Spend one to two minutes looking for positives in your life. Do this three times a day for 45 days, and your brain will start doing it automatically.

Choose a positive mantra for the day — something you will repeat to yourself, such as “Today is beautiful” or “I feel grateful for all I have”. And when things go sour, take a moment to try and see it from a positive light. Never under estimate the importance of recognizing the silver linings in life.

Celebrate little victories

Life is full of ups and downs, but in between we have a lot of little victories that go unnoticed. Take a moment to celebrate these small wins.

Did you check off all the things on your ‘To-do’ list that you’ve been procrastinating on? Yay! Did you finally clear out the thousand emails that have been filling up your inbox? Woohoo! Take pleasure in these little achievements. They add up!

Find your work–life balance

Work takes up a lot of our day, but it shouldn’t be the only thing we do. It’s important to pursue activities and interests beyond our job. Do you have a hobby? Are you spending time with friends and loved ones? Are you getting exercise? Creating balance in your life will reduce stress and give you other outlets to express yourself and have fun.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness mediation, works by bringing your awareness and attention to the present moment. It’s about being non-judgmental and accepting how you are feeling. Practicing mindfulness means being present, aware and curious. Accepting what we are going through decreases stress and helps us see situations for what they are. Through mindfulness, we can find peace and affirmation in ourselves.

Celebrate little victories

You may think of artists as being moody and depressed but studies show that engaging in creative activities on a regular basis actually makes you happier. Those who spend time using their imagination and being creative have more enthusiasm and are more likely to have feelings of long-term happiness and well-being. Such creative activities can include writing, painting, drawing and musical performance.

Accept imperfection

Many of us strive for perfection – we desire to push ourselves to be our best. But in order to be truly happy, you must embrace the imperfection that is part of life. Perfection is impossible, and holding ourselves and others to these standards is futile. We will always end up feeling let down. Accept that life is imperfect and recognize that there is beauty and grace in that imperfection.

‘’Don’t waste the best years of your life in a joyless job’’

Akna Goonaratne University of Deikin, Melbourne
Akna Goonaratne University of Deikin, Melbourne

Do what you love

It’s pretty hard to maintain happiness if you hate your job. Don’t waste the best years of your life in a joyless job, even if it’s paying the bills. What are you interested in? What are you truly passionate about? Focus on building a career in an area that motivates you and will provide you with a high level of satisfaction, and your happiness factor will go up exponentially.

Spend wisely

It’s tempting to believe that the more money you have the happier you’ll be. But the reality is, it’s how you spend your money that helps you feel happier. The key is to do it wisely. Spending money on experiences — travel, dining, and concerts and so on — can make us happier because we are sharing those experiences with others. Happiness connected to material possessions fades, but experiences help us define our purpose and passions in life.

Live in the moment

Our thoughts and feelings often revolve around the past or the future. Reality is what you are experiencing at this very moment; what you are going through right now. Sometimes we want to escape that reality. But when we stay in the present, we are fully engaged in our lives. Endeavor to live in the moment, and you’ll begin to have a deeper appreciation for your life.

Cultivate gratitude

Find ways to cultivate gratitude on a daily basis. Giving thanks and being grateful for all you have will make you happier and more content. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what you have received in life. Those gifts may be tangible or intangible. When you spend time each day acknowledging all that is good in life, you’ll see there is more good than you realize, and you’ll find that sadness, anxiety and depression are diminished.

‘’Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what you have received in life’’

Give back

Be generous with your time and your money. Give to others in need. Give to those you love and care for. Those who give back have a sense of selflessness and humanitarianism. Those who are generous in spending money on others tend to have good health, perhaps because giving has a feel-good effect that lowers blood pressure and stress.

Surprise yourself

It’s hard to feel happy if you are bored or feeling blah about life. Part of feeling happy is feeling stimulated, interested and a little surprised by life. So surprise yourself by setting goals outside your comfort zone. Put yourself in new or unexpected situations. Set goals for yourself and then work to achieve them. And remember to enjoy the ride!

Listen to and engage with music                      

Listening to music lifts our spirits. It makes us feel better, in part because listening to music causes our brains to release dopamine, a neurochemical connected to pleasure and reward. Those who engage with music through dance or through attending concerts report high levels of happiness and a sense of well-being.

You, be you

One of the best things you can do to boost your happiness is to just be yourself. That means not being dependent on the approval of others, but accepting yourself for who you are. Spend some time getting to know yourself. What defines you? What do you believe in? Who are you, underneath it all? Search for ways to be comfortable in your own skin.

Hang out with happy people

Ever hang out with a gloomy person and leave feeling bummed? That’s because moods can be contagious. It turns out that feelings can be transferred from one person to another, and the more we share experiences with one another, the more our emotions and behaviors become synchronized. One secret to long-term happiness is surrounding yourself with others who are also happy.

Nothing compares to you

Stop comparing yourself to everyone around you. Most importantly, stop comparing your things to all the things everyone else has. Social media has a way of making us feel like everyone else has it better than us. How often does scrolling through your newsfeed make you feel negative emotions? Allowing envy and resentment to take root, robs us of appreciating what we have.

‘’Constantly worrying about everything creates toxic anxiety’’

Stop worrying

Constantly worrying about everything creates toxic anxiety, where your mind is steeped in negative, spiraling thoughts. Worries plague your mind and make you afraid and apprehensive about things you often have no control over. Sometimes we believe that if we worry enough, we can keep bad things from happening. But the truth is, you cannot experience joy or even contentment when you’re consumed by worry.

Akna Goonaratne University of Deikin, Melbourne
Akna Goonaratne University of Deikin, Melbourne

Build meaningful relationships

Happiness, love, friendship and community go hand in hand. As humans, we have a fundamental need to interact and connect with others. We naturally seek our tribe – the people who will support us, understand us and be there for us through life’s roller-coaster ride. Without meaningful relationships, we are lonely and isolated. We’re happier when we pursue happiness with others.

Spend time in nature

Some researchers believe that today’s ultra-wired generation is actually suffering from a nature-deficit disorder. Studies have shown that the more time we spend in nature, and the more we relate to the natural world around us, the greater our sense of happiness. Our connection to nature also plays a role in maintaining positive mental health

Reminisce over happy memories

Why do we love all things retro? Perhaps because nostalgia makes us happy. Nostalgic feelings, or reminiscing about our past, can help us reconnect with feelings of love and a sense of wonder and fulfillment. Our past shapes us and defines our identity. When we remember good times and happy memories, we can increase our self-confidence and feel closer to those around us.

Article by: Chantal D.

“Panigrahana and Kalyana – A flavour that was buckled” 0 677

Panigarahana-and-Kalyana---BiZnomics-03

Bonded and an embraced journey reminiscences on how “a flavor that was buckled” in a rapport of Two Humans for a Soul affiliation. Yes, I mean Marriage. Elders define marriage as:  A connection of Souls, a culture of love, an Aroma: Spice, Regret, Benefits, and Happiness (Childbirth pleasure), privacy, kindergarten joys, parenting and an un-prescribed journey in marriage livelihood.

Panigarahana-and-Kalyana---BiZnomics-02

Culturally and historically, recalling marriage during the primitive age ‘was like an ape taking an apple from the ground, and distributing the fruit to its people’ sounds interesting. Fruit offered not because of lending charity to its family, but, it was a showering love and care for its family. Yes, it was a customary practice and women were treated as (Lakshmi) – a Griha Swamini (a Lords of the House, and priority for them, was family). Primitive day’s discussions between a husband and a wife were a gesture of noble act and kindness that has affection towards each other, a person cries – and a wife/husband wipes each other’s tears with a smile.

The word called “Relationship” in primitive age was a manifestation of a dedicated long-lasting bonding. Marriage was still continuing despite; husband/wife perishes from the earth. A primitive thought of utmost importance was to offer garlands in every path of the journey and in day-to-day and minute to minute conversations.

Panigarahana-and-Kalyana---BiZnomicsEver since science improved, more manners in a relationship started changing. To quote the kingdom dominated era during those days brought more extra-curricular affairs as a culture, where the husband (rather a man/woman) wanted more satisfaction to their wants rather than their needs. In Kingdom, a King arrives – his entry was garlanded with ladies dancing in an embraced process. This pro-activated custom changed the environment and slaved the thought process of human and their desire was taken to a different mode – which perhaps, made thinking changed.

Follow-up and extracting a few tips from the Kingdom era – is what in today’s world we find more cases of divorce, rather than a healthy marriage life. What is defined here today is that a healthy marriage can still take the flavours of primitive thoughts, but with more requirements (today, being Credit Cards, Branded Dresses, Money, Wealth, Properties, two children per couple. Dating apps, and approach of dressing sense, and privacy concept is eliminating a bond, and it is just a paper ritual, called Marriage. They (couples) prefer a more conscious approach and forget their childhood which was full of joy.

Cont..

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